


Nights Like These

by 19kp97



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:16:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5345543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/19kp97/pseuds/19kp97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica actually never wanted to call Trish again but things can change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drunken Phone calls

There were a lot of nights like these in the past. Were the alcohol is buzzing through the veins and New York seems to finally slow down. The thoughts definitely were gone. Finally.  
The apartment is dark and the only noise to hear, is the faint music coming from outside down the street. A bar Jessica knows too well and been kicked out too many times.  
She takes another sip of the whiskey out the bottle and it doesn't even burn her throat as much as it used to do. For a second she is worried, she saw what drugs and alcohol can do to a person but she would rather be an alcoholic than trying to live with Him inside of her mind. Not that she would ever say she is an alcoholic or accept anyone to say so.  
She picks up her phone and scrolls through her contacts. A lot of unnecessary people she doesn't care about and will never do. Except Trish. Trish is always there for her, even when Jessica hasn't called or texted in 6 months. Even when Trish has no idea what her, used to be best friend is doing or not. Jessica knows about her, about the success her Radio Show has and how far away her mother is staying from her. She needs to know that Trish is at least okay then that is the only thing she knows how to do, she knows how to keep her save. 

She finally clicks on Trish’s name and she hears it ringing. She takes another sip of the whiskey just to give her a little bit more courage. She sure wouldn't do this without it.  
The other side finally connects and a sleep drunken voice says:” Yes?”  
Jessica hesitates for a second and even thinks about just hanging up and call it a night.  
“Jess is everything alright?”, her voice is more awake and so full of concern.  
“I don’t know Trish.” is all Jessica could say and it wasn't even a lie.  
It is quiet for a second and then she could her movement of the other side “Are you home?”, Trish asks.  
“Yes.”  
“Stay there, I’ll be right there.”  
“No don't co-“ the line cuts off before Jessica could answer. 

She hates this feeling, she was always the though one, the little hero everyone said she was after her family died. “You are such a strong little hero”, the nurses and doctors and policeman used to say. She used to beat up thugs and criminals just to help others. That was the Jessica Jones people would like. The Jessica Jones, Trish would be proud of. Not this version, the one that starts drinking at 9 in the morning until she passes out in the middle of the night. Or the one that gets kicked out of bars because she punched a guy that then flew through the room just because he spilled his drink on her.  
The big act she is always trying to put on for everyone is so hard to keep up sometimes. Sometimes she just needs to breath for a second and this time is right now. 

Jessica tries to get up but suddenly the whole room is spinning. Her plan is to leave her apartment so Trish wouldn't see her like that but that is not going to happen. She puts her head down on her table instead, the cold surface is soothing against her cheek. She brings her hand up to her eyes and sees the dried blood on the knuckles. A sigh escapes her lips and she coughs. The coughing is drumming in her head that she almost didn't hear the light knocking on her door. 

“Jessica are you alright?”, a whispered voice Jessica would never mistaken for anyone else.  
She doesn't answer then maybe Trish would think no one is home because all the lights are off. She can her the door knob move and Trish saying  
”I’m coming inside, please don't hit me or try anything else.”  
She should have locked the door, Jessica thinks and moves her head up. The door is open now and Trish stands there, with the light coming from the hallways she looks like an angel but maybe that is just what her alcohol infused brain thinks.  
She is by Jessica’s side so fast that for a second she thinks that Trish flew. Maybe she is gifted too, the alcohol in her brain thinks. She can feel hands on her back and head, which calms her down immediately.  
“Are you okay?”, Trish asks and kneels beside her.  
“Yes. I told you not to come”, her answer is more slurred than she wants it to be.  
“I am here now, so let’s get you into bed.”  
She shakes her head “No, please no.” She afraid to sleep and dream.  
“Okay, Jess. No bed for you”, the blonde answers and stands up. Jessica watches her go into the kitchen and fill a glass full of water. Only now she notices what Trish is wearing, a pair of black sweatpants and a sweater that looks oddly familiar.  
“That is my sweater”, Jessica says and points at her friend.  
Trish comes over with the glass of water and replaces it with the whiskey bottle in front of Jessica “You still got some brain left after all that alcohol, I see. And yes it is your sweater. Remember that we used to live together?” Her voice got more angry but she catches herself and breaks the eye contact.  
“I am sorry”, is all Jessica can bring out.  
The blonde moves a chair next to her and sits down “For what are you sorry, Jess? For calling me at 4 in the morning, when you are drunk or for the 6 months of silence without any sort of communication? God damn it Jess I hired a PI to make sure you weren't dead in some ditch outside off the city.”  
“You hired a PI?”  
“You just vanished after everything that happened.”  
“I needed space to think.”  
“No you needed to let your rage out on me”, Trish was clearly angry now.  
“I protected you with everything I could, Trish”, the room stopped spinning now and she was thankful.  
Trish looks out the window behind her friend “I didn't need protection, I needed my best friend back.”  
There was silence now, in which Jessica chugs down the glass of water and finally manages to stand up.  
She was standing in front of her windows, trying to think clearly. “I just couldn't risk you.”  
“I can take care of myself Jessica.”  
“I needed to protect you from myself.”  
Trish stands up and walks up behind her friend who immediately tenses up. “I understand that, I really do Jessica but did you ever think about how I felt? You came back after everything that happened with Him and it was so good for a week and right after I kiss you, you left without even saying anything. I felt so awful.” Her head is down when Jessica turns around.  
“No Trish, no”  
The blonde looks up and meets brown eyes “It wasn't because of that Trish.” Jessica says and puts a hand on her friends shoulder.  
“Promise?” Trish asks quietly.  
Jessica kisses her instead to answer. It is fast and sloppy and maybe a little bit to wet and Trish can clearly taste the alcohol on her lips but neither of them stops.  
It was never because of the kiss.


	2. New Yorks Freezing Cold

The nausea wakes Jessica up, that and the bitter coldness around her. She opens her eyes and concentrates on not throwing up right now. The light is too bright in her eyes and she squints to make it better. Her head is throbbing with pain which is not helping her situations.   
Jessica’s eyes finally adjust to the brightness and she look around. She is in her bed, that’s good.   
She is not wearing pants, still good.   
The blanket is somewhere on the ground, less good and it explains why she is so cold.   
No one is in her apartment, not good.   
She remembers Trish coming over in the middle of the night. She remembers talking and kissing. And hands touching each others bodies and then nothing.   
She has no idea what happened next or how she even got in to bed. This is not good.   
She finally sits up and searches for her phone. At least that is next to her. It is 2 in the afternoon. 7 missed calls from her recent client, nothing from Trish.   
Her first reaction is that something might have happened to her, someone could have broken into last night and abducted her. That is why Trish is better off without her.   
Jessica gets up, mostly to find her best friend but also because she will definitely throw up if she keeps laying in bed. Her first way is into the living room, or better her office, and she is so thankful for that because next to her empty whiskey bottle is a note, carefully written in Trish handwriting. 

 

Jess,   
don’t worry, I had to go to the station.   
If you want a better friend than whiskey then call me. 

Trish

 

One hundred and one worries are gone now, all the scenarios of a dead Trish in some sketchy warehouse left. 

Jessica’s mindset for the day is to not call her. When she is around Trish, nothing good will happen to her and she can’t loose her best friend.   
After taking three painkillers against her raging headache and drinking two large cups of water she uses the remaining day to actually do her job and investigate.   
It is the classical case, a wife in her 50s thinks her husband is cheating on her with the much younger secretary from his office and surprise, surprise it is true.   
Jessica is outside in the freezing New York cold, waiting for the husband to come out of his office.   
The hot coffee in her hands makes them freeze less the only thing she wishes for is a bit of alcohol in that cup. It is getting dark in the city and all the electrical lights are being turned on, the city that never sleeps. Just like her, except when she is black out drunk.  
A bus with a giant picture of Trish’s face drives by and Jessica immediately has to look away.   
The husband finally steps outside his office building and is heading down the street. The little secretary is 3 minutes behind him, heading the same direction and that is also Jessica’s now.   
They walk three blocks when the husband is going into a dark alley way and his little mistress follows him. Jessica stays around the corner, waiting for her mark, with her camera in her hand. It takes about 5 minutes when she can hear faint moans from the alley way.   
She catches both of them with her camera, no clue what is happening he is kissing the girls neck and moving his hands under her skirt.   
Her job is done here and on her way home she calls her client and tells her the news. The wife is crying uncontrollably but Jessica just hangs up. 

Malcolm is in the elevator with him at her apartment, in nothing but a light jacket.  
“You will freeze outside”, she says without actually looking at him.   
“I’m fine”, it is a quiet mumble from his side.   
Without thinking Jessica takes her scarf off and gives it to him “If you will tell anybody, I will cut your balls off.” Malcolm just nods and takes it. 

Her apartment is comforting to Jessica, of course it is not the best one in this city and having work stuff all over the place is not helping either, but it is her own space, where no one will control her. 

While printing out the evidence, Jessica is searching for a bottle of her friend the whiskey. But the only bottle she can find in her whole apartment is the empty one on her desk and she is absolutely sure she had at least 2 in her kitchen cabinet. She thinks about Trish and that she probably took them all when she left. That is a good reason to call her, Jessica lies to herself while the phone is already agains her ear.   
The other side connected with a “Yes?”  
“You took my alcohol.”  
“Jessica, hello, nice to hear from you too.”  
She rolls her eyes “You took all my alcohol, Trish.”  
“Yes I took it because I like to think that I am a much better friend than whiskey.”  
“I can’t judge that since you took it all away.”  
Trish sights “Do you want to come over?”  
Jessica didn't expect that and doesn't answer right away.   
“I guess not”, Trish answers with a clear disappointment in her voice.   
Jessica already is putting her boots on and answers:” I’ll be there in 15.” She hangs up without waiting for an answer and is out of the door right after it.   
Her plan on not calling Trish was good for almost five hours but that is not relevant anymore. She is way faster at the penthouse than she expected, mostly because she took short cuts and because she actually hurried to get there for once. She drops in at a burger place around the corner of Trish’s apartment and buys some cheap fast food. 

The door man of the penthouse greets her with her name and she is surprised that he remembers her after that time. Driving in the elevator brings up so many memories about the first times both women drove up, both a little bit drunk and happy. Jessica remembers last night, how good it felt to have Trish there again and how much better it felt to feel her own lips against Trish’s.   
The elevator comes to an stop and she steps out on the right floor. And for a moment Jessica is scared, having Trish there, while being drunk is something so completely different than standing in front of her door without a drop of alcohol in her blood. She feels small in this huge house and debates on just going home again.   
Jessica pushes her thoughts and fears aside and rings the door bell. Trish opens the door almost immediately, almost like she waited on the other side of the door until Jessica came closer.   
“Hey, there”, the blonde says and steps aside to let her friend in.   
Jessica doesn't answer but just walks around for a little bit. Not a lot changed, except the new curtains and all that security technique around the house.   
“Nice security you got there”, is the first thing she says after putting down the bag of food.   
Trish walks over to her and smiles “I don't have my personal, super strong, body guard anymore. I had to level up a little bit.”  
“I was your body guard?”, she rolls her eyes and sits down on the couch.   
Trish is in the kitchen, putting out plates and glasses when her voice gets softer and quieter “You were a lot more than that, Jess.”  
Both women were quiet for a bit, while Trish put the food in front of them. Jessica looks out the window and more memories of both of them comes flooding back into her mind. How she put a blanket over Trish’s bare shoulders, who is standing in front of the window with a glass of wine in her hand.   
“Thank you for coming”, Trish voice pulls her out of the memory and she is suddenly sitting so close to Jessica. Her answer is to shrug and take a bite of the hamburger just so she doesn't have to answer.   
Both of them manage to talk a little bit during the night, mostly about Trish’s work and occasionally about what exactly Jessica is doing right now. The more they talk the more comfortable the get with each other and they both don't realise that Trish’s legs are over Jessica’s lap and they are fiddling with each others hands.   
“I don’t remember a lot of last night”, Jessica confesses while looking away.   
Trish chuckles “I didn't expect you to. You were hammered.”  
Jessica looks up and meets her eyes “I am sorry.”  
“Nothing happened Jess, don't worry.”  
“I know we kissed.”  
Trish freezes and looks away. “I didn't know you remembered that”, she admits.  
“I know we kissed and wandering hands but nothing more.”  
The blonde relaxes “Good, then nothing else happened. I put you to bed and left after a little bit.”  
“You should have stayed with me.” Jessica is being honest right now and she doesn't know if she likes it or not.   
Trish finally looks at her again “I didn't know if that would have been such a good idea, considering we both know what always used to happen when we were drunk.”   
Jessica remembers drunk giggling while taking each others clothes off. Knocked over things in the apartment while they are stumbling into Trish bed room. She remembers, sheet grabbing and back scratching, hands in her hair and moaning. She remembers Trish moving under her.  
She brings herself out of that memory with saying: “I was the one that was drunk.”   
Trish shrugs “I don't think that would have made a difference.”  
They are both quiet for a while, each of them in their own mind, thinking about the past.


	3. Childish Games

They talk about the most random things any of them could think of, just to lift the awkward tension there is between them. They can feel it every time their hands accidentally brush agains each other or one of them leans a little too close to the other.   
Trish is the one that talks the most, she asks questions and then answers them herself and Jessica is thankful for it. She was never a big talker and having Trish talk the whole time distracts her from what is going on in her head.   
“Did you know I haven't had a drink in 5 months?”, Trish asks and looks at Jessica with her big eyes.  
“Why not?”, Jessica knows that Trish never was a big drinker after her rehab from drugs but even after that she occasionally drank one with Jessica.   
The blonde shrugs “I don't know. I drank a lot after you disappeared but I pulled myself out of it and then never saw the point of it. Drinking without your best friend is kinda sad and alone.” She tries to smile but it was more a sad smile than happy.   
“Do you wanna change that?”, Jessica asks.   
“Well you are back now so maybe a little bit wouldn't be bad.”  
“I don’t wanna pressure you.”  
“You are not.” This smile is a genuine and warm smile Jessica missed a lot.   
The blonde gets up and pulls a bottle of brown liquor out of a kitchen cabinet.  
“You sure you haven't had a drink in that long when you have all that alcohol up there?” Jessica grins and point at the cabinet.   
Trish comes over with the bottle and two glasses. “Maybe I kept it for you.”  
Jessica looked down and felt bad for all the time her friend waited for her.   
“Anyway”, Trish says, sensing the sudden mood change “Let’s see if you can handle that alcohol after your beat down last night.” She grins and pours both of them a glass.   
Jessica looks at her “Oh really? You know how I can drink.” She takes the glass and pours it down without even moving a muscle in her face. Trish laughs and nudges her with her elbows “You don't have to impress me with that.”

It doesn't take half an hour and 2 drinks for Trish to defiantly feel at least tipsy, maybe she was drunk but when Jessica asked her, she answered with tipsy and that is what she is settling for.   
“Remember that time in high school were we stole a bottle of whine from my mother and played truth or dare?”, Trish asks and laughs at the memory. Jessica rolls her eyes as an answer “Don’t remind me of that. That was the worst hour of my life.”   
“Don’t lie. You loved getting to know my secrets.”  
“Oh Trish, I knew you secrets before you told them.”  
“You are lying again. You were surprised when I told you about the kiss with Rachel.”  
Jessica is quiet because she knew about that kiss way before Trish told her but when her friend actually told her she was surprised. Not surprised surprised, but more angry. “You got me there, I was surprised.” She takes another sip and feels the liquor go down her body.   
“We should play it again”, Trish suggest cheerful.  
Jessica immediately shakes her head “Hell no. We are not in high school anymore.”  
“That’s right but there are probably a lot of secrets between us now after all that time.”   
She is right. After 6 months of almost complete silence there were a lot of things the other one doesn't know. Jessica sees the genuine excitement in Trish’s eyes and agrees “Okay, but only three rounds and that is it.”  
“Okay, good I'm totally okay with that. You start.”  
Jessica feels childish playing this game but some how she feels younger again, like she is back in high school, sitting on Trish’s floor with a whine bottle in her hand, thinking about stupid questions or dares.   
“Fine. Truth or dare?”  
“Truth.”  
“When was the last time you kissed someone before yesterday?”  
Trish chokes on her drink she was sipping from “Getting to the good questions right away I see.”  
“We only have three rounds so let’s hear, when was it?”  
“4 or 5 months ago, I think.”  
“Why so long?”  
Trish shakes her head “No only one question at the time. It’s my turn now.”  
Jessica pouts, she really wants to know the answer why Trish haven't had someone to at least make out with in the past months. “Truth”, she says.   
“Did you miss me in the last 6 months?” The blonde was more serious now.   
Jessica nods “Yes all the time.”  
“Good, I am glad I wasn't alone.”  
“Truth or dare?” Jessica tries to change the topic again.   
Trish downs the rest of her drink and says:” Dare.”  
The brunet grins widely “I dare you to go on your balcony and show New York your butt.” She laughs while Trish looks shocked “No, I can’t. What if someone will see me?”  
“Come one Trish it is a dare and I bet no one will see you, since we are on the 17th floor.”  
“It is freezing outside Jess, I’ll get sick and die.”  
Jessica stands up and puts her hand around Trish’s arm “Come one Trish, loose up a little.”  
She drags the other woman out on to the balcony and leans agains the fencing of the balcony.   
“Do it Trish.”  
The blonde looks at her and shakes her head like a little girl disobeying her moms command.  
“Please?”, Jessica tries. Still nothing.  
“Do it for me?”, she tries again and Trish gets softer.   
“Just really quick, I wanna have some fun”, her final attempt and Trish nods.   
“Okay fine but super quick”, she blonde says and turns around to face her back to the city. She breathes in a few times and pulls her pants just below her butt down. It didn't even last a second and Jessica had no time to react when the pants were up again and she was dragged back inside.   
“Happy?”, Trish asks, falling down back on to the couch. Jessica stand in front of her suddenly laughing “That was fast but amazing.”  
Trish smirks jokingly “Did you enjoy my butt that much?”  
Jessica didn't even realise until now that she had the perfect view of a very good butt.  
“Don’t flatter yourself”, she tries to distract from herself.  
“So its your turn again. Truth or dare?”, Trish asks while putting some more of the whiskey into her glass.   
Jessica smiles “I stay with truth.”  
“Boring but fine. Why did you kiss me last night?”  
Jessica looks at her with wide eyes “Jeez, Trish always the brutal questions here. But I have no idea.” The blonde rolls her eyes “Of course you do, you told me you remember it.”  
“I- I don’t know. I just wanted to makes sure that you knew I didn't leave because of the kiss.”  
Trish nods “I am okay with that answer.” Jessica looks at her confused but doesn't question it but just waits until Trish says “I take truth.”  
“Since you are giving me this brutal questions here, why did you kiss me back last night?”  
She doesn't get an answer right away, instead Trish stares at her and then down her drink and back into Jessica eyes again. Jessica raises an eyebrow to get her friend to answer.  
“Well to be honest, I missed it and it felt good.”   
“Dare”, Jessica says without even thinking about Trish’s answer. And her answers comes as quick as the other one before: “Kiss me.”  
Jessica is confused but a dare is a dare so she drinks something of the whiskey and puts a hand on Trish’s neck. “Okay?”, she makes sure and Trish just nods.   
They lips crash together without any hesitation. It is hard and fast again but all Trish does is pulling Jessica closer and kissing her deeper. Jessica relaxes the second their lips were touching and she missed this so much. Last night was different, it was a drunk and desperate kiss but now she is just a little buzzed and it is more a kiss because that is the only thing she could think about the whole day. Trish wasn't the only one who missed this, she defiantly did too. The kiss gets softer and more relaxed but Trish is still desperate for more, it is the alcohol in her blood that gives her confidence and smiles into the kiss.   
The brunet pulls back right away “Is everything okay?”, she makes sure.   
Trish nods and looks down to Jessica’s lips “Everything is perfect.”  
Jessica smiles and kisses her softly.


	4. Trish's Distraction

Trish wakes up in the middle of the night when she can hear the front door click shut. She looks next to her and can’t see Jessica anymore. They went to bed last night after making out like teenagers on the couch. Nothing happened except for spooning and playing with each others hands. It was perfect, just like a few months ago before Jessica left but now Trish is alone again. She can feel the tears swelling up but she is stronger than that, she doesn't want to cry over Jessica Jones anymore.  
She stares at the celling, unable to fall asleep. She just stares until she notices the sun coming up slowly, that is when she finally turns around and looks at the clock. It is 6:21 in the morning and that is the moment she decides it is a good time to get up.  
Her body feels awfully tired but that could also be the alcohol and the fact she hasn't really slept the last two nights. Jessica is back in her life and she already has problems, but these are things she is willing to deal with if her friend would let her.  
Her breakfast consist of a very strong coffee and an apple, a breakfast of champions, or of people with a light hangover and no energy to do anything. Trish could just go to bed but she pushes herself to make the most of her day.  
Cleaning up her apartment is the first thing she is doing after she finished her coffee, the music is playing so loud but she is sure her neighbours can’t even hear her if someone would be killed in here, not that she ever wants to find that out.  
Cleaning is a thing Trish does when she doesn’t deal with her emotions. When she was a teenager she did the complete opposite, every time her mom would get mad at her for the most stupidest things or someone in school would pick on her for being a tv star, she would absolutely trash her room. Books would fly everywhere and plates would shatter against a wall.  
When her mom would see it, she would complete freak out and that is how some of the bruises would get on Trish’s body. When Jessica came around, she still trashed her place but her mom never found out because Jessica came in and cleaned up as fast as she could before the evil woman would see anything.  
Trish is cleaning her bathroom when her phone rings, her heart jumps with the possibility of it being Jessica but it wasn’t, just her manager. He tells her about the water damage in the studio and that most of their equipment is broken now. Trish freaks out, she yells at her manager for letting something like that happen.  
“Trish Talk just has to go on a little break”, he tries to be as calm as possible.  
“Trish Talk was never on a break Justin. Not even on Christmas”, Trish basically yells into the phone.  
“I am really sorry but there is nothing we can do about this, you are off until next Thursday.”  
She hangs up without answering him and now she is mad at another thing. Today is Tuesday and she has no idea what to do for the next 9 days.

The hours pass slowly and she has already done everything there is to do inside of her apartment. Trish has not attention to actually leave it so she is trying to do the most of her free time inside.  
She works out for almost three hours with her personal trainer and still feels unsettled. Ever since she picked up Krav Maga she feels so much more powerful, she can knock someone out in less than 4 seconds and even when someone is pointing a gun at her face or has a knife by her throat. Trish is not afraid of anything anymore, except for the feeling inside of her when she lets herself think about Jessica.  
For 5 months she was able to shut that feeling down completely, ever since she woke up after drinking three nights in a row and having a stranger in her bed. She looked like Jessica and that was the only woman she ever slept with beside of Jessica herself. Two days later she put away all of Jessica’s stuff except for one sweater and picked up Krav Maga.  
There was no thought about the other woman until a familiar name appeared on her phone at 4 in the morning two nights ago and now all those feelings are back. She hates herself for it, for letting herself be so vulnerable again, especially because of this. Trish is washing out her hair under the shower when it rings at the door. She thinks about not answering it but she finishes up quickly instead and puts on a robe before heading to the door. She turns her security screen on and can see Jessica leaning against the door frame with her hands in her pocket.  
Trish is surprised and has to calm herself down before she pushes the speaker button.  
“What do you want?”, she asks, trying to sound mean.  
“Open the door Trish”, Jessica answers, looking into the camera.  
“I can’t.”  
“And why not?”  
I don’t want you in here because I will get weak and kiss you again, Trish thinks but instead answers:” I-I just got out of the shower.”  
Jessica smirks “Are you naked?”  
Trish opens the door instead to answer through the speaker “No I am not and don't ask that so loud, I have neighbours.”  
Jessica slips past her into the apartment without even giving her friend an answer. The blonde stays at the door for a couple of seconds trying to make up her mind of how she will act around the woman she is trying to be angry about. She settles for actually being angry, because she is, yes Trish wants nothing more than to kiss her right now but she is angry at Jessica for just leaving in the middle of the night without saying something and then turning up 12 hours later without any explanation.  
Trish doesn't look at her friend, who is already sitting on the couch with her boots on the table, but just walks past her into her bed room and closes the door. “Take your time”, she can hear Jessica yell from the other side.  
She is getting dressed really quickly and she chooses a comfy t-shirt and a black pair of pants.  
With her hair hanging damp over her shoulders she walks into the living room and says:” Get your boots of my table.” Jessica laughs but obeys while switching through the tv channels.  
“I heard your show is taking a break”, Jessica says and turns off the tv, deciding that nothing is worth watching right now.  
The blonde walks over to the kitchen and fills up a glass of water, she takes her time answering. Her second glass is empty when she finally does “A pipe bursted in the office above us, everything is ruined.”  
“Can’t you get new stuff?”  
“Insurance takes time”, Trish says and looks at her friend for the first time, which is just lounging on the couch and slightly smiling at her. Trish looks away. “So what are you doing here?”, she asks.  
“Just wanted to make sure you're not dead or something since you never cancelled any shows.”  
“You sure did keep tabs on me didn't you?”  
Jessica shrugs “Just wanted to make sure you weren't dead or something.”  
“You could have done that by calling me once or twice”, Trish is getting raged up now and Jessica can clearly tell.  
“I have other ways to make sure people aren't dead without putting them in danger.”  
The blonde rolls her eyes and walks a couple of steps towards Jessica “I don't think there would have been any danger with you here.”  
Jessica laughs sarcastically “You have no idea Trish.”  
Moving her hands around she answers:” There is literally no way someone can come in here without me opening the door, nothing can happen to me inside of this apartment.”  
“There is always a way to get inside of an apartment Trish.”  
She shakes her head “Maybe into yours but I have a steel improved door, bullet proof windows, a panic room and cameras literally covering every inch of this place.”  
Jessica is impressed but also a little bit worried about why all of this is here “It’s like fort nocks in here, Trish.”  
Trish shrugs in responds and sits down next to her friend but with a good distance between them. It is quiet for a while until Jessica finally says:” I am sorry I left in the middle of the night.”  
“Are you really?” Trish looks at her and raises her eyebrows in question.  
“Yes I shouldn't have left but it just all felt a little bit too much in that moment.”  
Trish defiantly understands her but she is still angry about it. “Can you tell me the next time?” she asks quietly. Jessica nods in response but both of them know that might not happen.  
Jessica phone breaks through the silence and she quickly answers it while Trish is looking at her and thinking about all the time they used to sit here like that, in the afternoon while both of them are thinking about the same thing but are too afraid to say something out loud. Trish misses those times so incredibly much that it feels like decades passed.  
She misses how unafraid Jessica used to be and now Trish can see how hard she is trying to get back to that, to not be afraid of anything or anyone. But Trish can look past all that facade and can see the real Jessica, she always was able to and right now while Jessica is one the phone Trish reaches out and grabs her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to upload a chapter every day. Thank you all for reading.


	5. Krav Maga, Baby

Somewhere during the time while both of them are just sitting in silence, Jessica decides to take Trish with her on her current stakeout.  
“What do I have to do?”, the blonde asks in excitement.   
“Just follow my lead okay? And please listen to what I say because this isn't some cheating asshole we have to get, this is a little bit more dangerous.”  
Trish looks at her worried “How dangerous exactly?”  
“Just some pictures of a client from my, well she isn't exactly my boss, but she is an attorney and she needs proof that her client is innocent so I’ll give that to her.” She giggles because of Trish being worried.   
“What did that client apparently do?”  
Jessica shakes her head “Sorry, Trish I can’t tell you that. But don’t worry I’ve done this a hundred times, just stay close to me and don't try to get anyones attention.”  
Trish settles for black clothes and she even puts on a black beanie, mostly because she is afraid someone will recognise her but also because it is freezing cold outside. She feels excited to this, because this isn't some office job or sitting in front of a microphone for 45 minutes a day, this is something dangerous and it makes her feel thrilled. 

They both drop by Jessica’s apartment and while she is getting all get camera equipment together, Trish is walking through the apartment   
“What happened to your door?”, she asks stroking her fingers over the cardboard that is replacing the missing glass.  
“Disagreement with a client.” Trish can hear the grin in her voice.   
Trish absolutely does not like this place but she can see Jessica in every corner of it. This place is so her that she misses how they used to live together.   
How some night they would spent in Jessica room which was just a tiny version of this apartment.   
“Ready?”, Jessica pulls her out of her memory while drinking from a thermos cup.   
“I guess that is not coffee”, Trish points a the cup while Jessica already shakes her head.  
“Actually it’s tea.”  
“With whiskey?”  
“Rum”, Jessica grins widely and takes another sip. 

The cold outside makes it hard not to walk so extremely close to each other but both Jessica and Trish don't care and it fills Jessica with a warm feeling, every time her friends arms brushes agains her own. Their destination is a spot in central park, which is getting quiet and empty around this time.   
They settle on a bench while Jessica talks “Look out for a white kid in his 20s, he is probably wearing a dark blue jacket and a cap.”  
Trish nods “What will he do?”  
“Meet up with much older kids and get a bag or briefcase from them.”  
“With money?”, Trish can feel the adrenaline going through her veins.   
“Yes but don't worry about that.”  
It takes almost an hour before anyone shows up. Both of the woman are freezing and Jessica thought more than once to leave, she doesn't care about this job but she most defiantly needs the money from Hogarth.   
She thinks about why exactly she bought Trish with her then this is the complete opposite of keeping her save in any way. 

The boy shows up and Trish nudges Jessica side “He’s here, Jess.”  
He sits down a couple of benches aways from them and looks really nervous and unsettling. Jessica is getting her camera ready when two much older and bigger guys come over to the boy and stop in front of him. Jessica takes pictures from them talking and the bag pack that they drop next to him.   
Everything went smoothly when one of the guys suddenly looks in their directions. “Shit”, Jessica curses and drops the camera.   
“What’s wrong?”, Trish asks in panic.  
“I think he saw us. Let’s get up slowly and walk away.”  
Trish immediately obeys and stands up with Jessica who is trying to hide the big camera in her jacket. They can hear yelling and footsteps running towards them and suddenly she feels a hand on her shoulder and Jessica spins around. The big guy is standing in front of her “What are you ladies doing here?”  
Trish can see the anger in Jessica’s face and takes over “We were just resting a little bit on the bench and now we wanna get home to warm a little.   
It is quiet freezing out here isn't it?”  
He still looks at Jessica and then reaches out to grab her camera but she is much faster and twists his arm around  
“I prefer you to walk away right now and stop trying to touch me.”  
His answer is a yell for back up and the other guy is running in their direction. Jessica pulls the head of the man in front of her down and knees him hard in the face. She wants to get ready when Trish is suddenly walking in the direction the other guys in running from.   
“Trish, what the hell are you doing? Come back here”, Jessica yells but the blonde just looks over her shoulder and smiles.   
The guy is right in front of her when she reaches for his collar and throws him over her back, he lands with a loud noise, followed by a grunting in pain.   
She smiles widely and Jessica grabs her arm and is running aways with her. “Jesus Trish what the hell was that?”   
She is asks while they are turned around the third block down the street and finally stop running. 

“Krav Maga, baby” she jokes and pushes Jessica lightly.  
“You took up a self defence sport?”, Jessica is too serious.  
Trish smiles “Calm down, Jess, it is an amazing work out and did you see how easy it was for me to take that dude out?”  
“Yes but why Krav Maga, couldn't you go with Pilates or something like that?” she is smiling now too.   
“Oh shut up that is your excuse.”  
Jessica puts an arm around her friends shoulders and pulls her closer a little bit “Thank you, Trish, you were amazing.”  
Trish is smiling but hides her head into Jessica's chest so she can’t see it. 

Both of them decides that something warm will make them feel better and they stop at a small diner somewhere in downtown New York. Jessica orders greasy sandwiches and fries for them and Trish thinks about the strict diet she is supposed to be one but she doesn't care right now.   
Trish is the one that orders two Irish floats and Jessica asks her:” What is that?”  
“It’s basically a root bear float but with a little bit of Irish Whiskey in it. I can’t believe you never had one.”  
Jessica shrugs “What can I say? I was a very busy woman.”  
The women are quiet until their drinks come and as soon as Jessica takes her first sip, her whole faces lights up “That is so delicious.”  
Trish grins and also drinks something “I told you it’s good.”  
“I applaud you Trish Walker you did very good”, Jessica says in a dramatic voice. Trish laughs sarcastically and throws a fry at her friend “Shut up and let me have my moment here.”  
Jessica realises that this is the biggest thing she misses about them hanging out on a regular basis.   
Just having fun with each other and forgetting the world around them.   
“We should do this more often”, Jessica confesses and avoids Trish’s look. Which is coughing in her drink and looks at her friend amazed from the confession. “Absolutely, Jessica. I would love that.”   
They smile at each other and are just enjoying each others company before the diner closes close to midnight.   
“Excuse me, but we are closing soon”, says the lady behind the counter who is cleaning the top.   
“Oh of course, our bad”, Trish answers with her friendly voices and stands up.   
Jessica is searching for her wallet but her friend looks at her confused “Since when do you pay?”  
“I don’t know maybe I wanted to be generous”, she grins but Trish just laughs and puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and tells the lady “You can keep the change and have a nice night.” She grabs Jessica’s hand and heads out.   
Both of them don't notice that they are still holding hands when they reach Trish’s apartment but it feels too good to let go, even when they enter the apartment complex and get greeted by the door man.  
Not when they are standing in the elevator a little too close to each other, not when Trish fumbles with the keys until the door opens. 

They let go of each other when Trish opens her jacket and as soon as their hands separate, Jessica misses it immensely. They are standing in the living room, the only source of light is the little lamp next to the couch and the streets shining through the windows from the city.   
“Maybe we should go lay down?”,Trish suggests quietly.   
Jessica nods “Please”, she can’t think of anything better right now and so both women lay down in Trish’s huge bed and scoot closers until the blonde can lay her head on Jessica’s chest.


	6. I Am Here With You

Jessica is having awful nightmares.   
The ones that makes your hand stand from your neck and sends a shiver down your spine.   
She is dreaming about Him, how they would lay in bed like this but with one difference that Jessica never wanted any of this.  
She was trapped in her own mind again and it is so hard to break free and wake up.   
She sits up in shock and looks around her, everything is dark and her shirt is laying damp on her skin.   
“What is wrong”, the woman next to her asks sleepy.   
Jessica jumps up and finally is able to look at her, who’s look is shocked and terrified.   
The dark adjusts to Jessica’s eyes and she can finally make out the shape of Trish.   
She immediately calms down “I am so sorry”, she mumbles with her hands as fist next to her body.  
Trish reaches for her but she stops after Jessica takes a step back.  
“It is okay”, she says and sits up.   
“I’m gonna be right back”, Jessica answers fast and is already out the bedroom when she can hear Trish say:” Please don’t leave.”

Jessica doesn’t leave the apartment but also doesn’t return to the bedroom.   
She is in the giant bathroom instead and is splashing water into her face. “Calm down”, she says to herself and looks into the mirror.   
The shock is still written on her face and she cant bare to keep looking at herself.   
She leans agains the wall and slowly slides down, repeating again and again that it was just a dream and she is safe here.   
Jessica feels awful and could defiantly use some alcohol right now but she doesn't want Trish to see her like this right now.   
The alcohol would wash her thoughts aways and would make her forget about Him.  
She hates that He still has this awful control over her even though she hasn't seen Him in over 6 months or more.   
He is still everywhere, no matter is she wakes up or falls asleep, no matter where in New York she is walking, she can see him everywhere.  
A knock is interrupting her thoughts “Jess, are you okay in there?” Trish asks quietly.  
Jessica tries to answers, she truly tries but she starts sobbing again.   
Tears are streaming down her face and she is choking on her words. Her head is buried between her knees when Trish says more louder:” I’m coming in now.”  
The door opens and Jessica looks up. The sudden change in Trish’s face makes her burry her face back between her knees again.   
The blonde is immediately on the ground, at her side and is wrapping her arms around her friend.   
“What’s happening here?”, Trish asks, rubbing circles on Jessica’s back.   
The brunette doesn't answer, her body begins to shake and the awful feeling inside of her growths and growths.   
Trish nods and pulling her closer “You don't have to answer. Everything is okay Jess. I am here with you.”

It takes almost one hour for Jessica to calm herself, with Trish’s help, down. And another extra 30 minutes when she finally feels good to stand up.   
Trish is by her side, pulling her up and looks her in the eyes. Jessica is avoiding her look but she puts a hand on the brunettes face.   
Jessica’s eyes are puffy and her face is red but Trish smiles at her and kisses her cheek.   
“You are okay”, she whispers and kisser her cheek again.   
They walk outside the bathroom “Let’s go back to bed”, Trish suggests, holding onto Jessica’s hand. Which shakes her head “Can we stay in the living room?”, her voice is a whisper.   
The blonde nods and walks them over to the couch to sit down. Both women are quiet for a long while.   
Trish giving her friend enough space and Jessica feeling too embarrassed to talk about anything.   
They watch the sun rise over the skyline of New York from the couch and while Trish is admiring the beauty of it, Jessica looks at her.  
How strong she has gotten and how beautiful she is.   
She snaps out of her haze and finally speaks “I’m gonna get some breakfast okay?”  
“I can come with you.”  
She shakes her head “No, no, please rest a little bit more, I’m gonna get the work done from yesterday and come back with some bagels.”  
Trish wants to protest and insist on coming with her but she can feel the tiredness inside her bones and just nods. “Don’t take too long please.”  
Jessica shakes her head and stand up “Go to bed, Trish. I’ll be back in two hours.”  
“Take the key”, Trish answers and heads to bed.

It is getting busy outside, when Jessica steps out of the apartment complex. All kind of people heading to work or school or some crazy people just home.   
She remembers all the time when she would leave a bar or club in the early hours of the morning with a person behind her.   
She remembers a lot of blonde women being part of it and she had to control herself not to call them Trish.   
Jessica is standing by the street, trying to get a taxi but she has absolutely no luck. “Stupid New York”, she curses under her breath and starts walking.   
It takes her a long time and the cold is burning her face but she makes it to Hogarth’s office.   
She walks right in, not even looking at the secretary Pam and straight into the attorneys office.   
“We almost got killed last night”, she snarks at the older woman.   
Hogarth is standing by the window, having her back turned to Jessica “We?”  
“I mean, I almost got killed”, Jessica corrects herself fast.   
The attorney turns around and looks at her. “I know you can’t get killed, Jessica.”  
“I am not superman, Hogarth. I can get killed for sure, so the next time you have some shady job for me, be so generous and tell me.”  
The older woman smiles slightly “You can take care of yourself”, she puts her hand out “The photos?”  
Jessica throws the SD card onto her table “Just give me my money.”  
“It will be on your card by tomorrow.” Hogarth turns around again and that is Jessica’s clue to go.   
She passes the secretary Pam on her way out and stops at her desk “How can you fuck her?”  
Pam is shocked and wants to protest but Jessica just starts walking again and leaves the office.   
She hate doing jobs for Hogarth because they are mostly some shady and part illegal job but she pays good money and she is right, Jessica can take care of herself. 

Trish is still fast asleep when Jessica enters the apartment. It is weird being able to unlock the door on her own again, she misses the time where she had a key on her own and could come and go how she likes.   
She walks around the apartment, making two cups of coffee in between and looking at all the little things  
. Some pictures where moved around or new mugs were added to the cupboard but all in all the place looks the same.  
Not until she opens the door to her old room, she is shocked when she sees that it is now a home gym but she can understand Trish right away.   
“If you want your stuff, it is in storage”, Jessica hears Trish say from behind her.   
She turns around and looks the blonde straight in the eyes.  
“You have a home gym now”, she clarifies.   
Trish nods “Yeah, I needed some space to train.”  
Jessica closes the door and drops the topic “I made coffee and got some bagels.”  
“You could think we are married”, Trish jokes and walks back into the kitchen. The other woman stands there in confusion about that statement.  
“Are you coming?”, Trish yells and Jessica snaps out of her thought and joins her in the kitchen.   
It feels normal, just like they are indeed married.


	7. Teenage Girls In A Movie

“So what are we gonna do today?”, Jessica asks, leaning agains the bathroom doorframe and looking at Trish, who is getting ready.  
The blonde shrugs and carefully applies mascara to her eyelashes “I don't know.”  
“Well I don't know either.”  
Suddenly Trish turns around “We could get some clothes for you.”  
Jessica’s eyes widen “What’s wrong with my clothes?”  
“Nothing but Jess, you own like one pair of jeans.”  
Jessica looks down at herself “They are good and do you know how expensive jeans are?”  
The blonde continues with her make up “Of course but don't worry about it.”  
Jessica shakes her head fast “No Trish you are not paying for my clothes.”  
“Don’t worry about it, I got it covered.”  
“I have money too, you know.”  
“Of course but let’s just see okay?”  
Jessica accepts it because she just doesn't want to fight with Trish anymore but instead wants to spend time with her.   
“Fine, let’s go shopping then.”  
The smile from Trish, Jessica can see in the reflection in the mirror, is widely and she is glad she chose to go shopping even though she absolutely hates it. 

This is Jessica’s way to apologies for last night, she let’s Trish do anything to her right now.  
Let her pick any dress or shirt the blonde likes and Jessica tries them all on without any hesitation.  
It’s her way to say “I am so incredibly sorry for last night, for having a mental breakdown in your bathroom and making you stay up with me all night, I am sorry for almost getting our ass kicked last night in the park and I am so sorry for being back in your life and making everything much more difficult than it has to be.”  
But instead of say anything of this, Jessica just grabs the clothes Trish is handing to her and tries them on.

The beginning is more a joke, Trish gets the most feminine clothes she can find and gives them to her friend with a smile, which just laughs and takes them.   
But the more shops they go through Trish actually picks out clothes that are much more than Jessica.   
“I actually really like this”, the brunette says, looking at herself in her new jacket.   
Trish opens the curtain of the changing room a little bit and answers:” I know your style Jess.”  
“Hey, some privacy please”, Jessica jokingly covers her body with her hands.   
Trish’s look changes all of the sudden and she smirks “Oh really?” She steps in the changing room and closes the curtain behind her.   
“This is how it’s gonna work?”, the other woman asks and steps closer.   
But Trish doesn't the same and Jessica backs up until her back is agains the wall.  
The blonde puts her hands on the wall, next to Jessica’s head and smirks.   
“You play dirty”, Jessica jokes and slips through the space under Trish’s arm. “Let’s get those clothes and get home so I can get a revenge.”  
Trish turns around and raises her eyebrows “You wanna have a revenge?”  
“Oh yes, you can show me those Krav Maga moves”, Jessica winks and leaves the changing room. 

With a small disagreement about who is supposed to pay for all the clothes, in which they settle to split the bill because Trish was not okay with Jessica paying for everything, since there were some clothes of hers in there too.  
But Jessica was not okay with paying nothing so they split it.   
They leave the store and Trish is already on the phone calling for her driver when Jessica’s phone rang.   
“What?”, she picks up.  
“Hello. Hi, this is your neighbour Ruben, eh it looks like someone broke into your apartment”, the other side talks, clearly nervous.  
“Shit, I’ll be right there.” Jessica hangs up and grabs Trish’s arm.   
“Someone broke into my apartment Trish I have to go”, she says, dropping off her bags “Just take these and I’ll meet you at yours later.”  
Trish shakes her head and hangs up “No, no, no. I am coming with you Jessica.”  
“Trish, no just go home and I’ll handle this.”  
The blonde is tying a message on her phone “I’ll have someone pick up our things and then we can grab a taxi to your apartment.”  
Jessica grabs both arms of Trish “Trish, do you not understand that a lot of people wanna see me dead and if they see you with me, you will be on their list too and I can’t risk that, I can’t risk you.”  
Trish avoids her look and mumbles “I just don’t want you to go alone.”  
Jessica sighs and lets go of her “Fine, but please don't do anything wild like last night.”

They wait until Trish’s driver turns up and picks up their bags and then stop a taxi at the corner.   
The drive there is quiet but Jessica can feel Trish’s hand brushing against hers and it makes her shiver. A very good shiver.   
She feels like some teenage girl in a movies, that has butterflies in her stomach and can’t stop looking at her crush.   
Jessica has no idea that the other woman feels exactly the same and can’t stop thinking about her and the way Jessica looks at her sometimes, so full of love but also worry.   
Trish just wants to stop the world and live forever in this time were Jessica is with her and won’t go anywhere.   
But this is not the reality, then instead they arrive at Jessica’s apartment.   
Malcolm and Ruben stand outside and greet the women. “Hello. I live above you and heard some people talking in your apartment but I knew you weren't home so I went down and looked but they told me to keep moving if I want to stay alive.”  
“What kind of people?”, Trish asks but Jessica shoots her a warning look to stay out of it.   
“Three big dudes”, Malcolm answers quietly “They ask me where you are.”  
Jessica puts a hand on his shoulder “Thanks Malcolm.”  
She gives Ruben a nod and grabs Trish hand to pull her with her in the apartment. 

The cardboard from Jessica's door is ribbed “I told you to get it fixed”, Trish comments but the brunette ignores her.  
They walk inside carefully and Jessica can already see that her place is trashed  
“I hope those assholes didn't take my camera equipment”, she says more to herself than Trish.   
Everything inside that place is turned over and thrown across the whole room.   
After Jessica makes sure that no one is in there anymore she let go of Trish hand, which makes her feel empty and cold inside.   
Jessica checks the bottom drawer of her desk first and pulls out a few dollar bills “Thank god”, she mumbles and cramps the money in her jeans pocket.   
While she is checking for her camera equipment, which to her surprise is untouched, Trish goes into the bedroom and pulls out a bag from under the bed.   
She starts putting all the clothes she can fit inside the bag and then goes to the bathroom to grab the rest of Jessica’s stuff.   
The brunette is leaning agains the bedroom wall when Trish comes back “What are you doing there Trish?”, Jessica asks.   
“You wont stay another night here.”  
Jessica grins “I haven't spend the last two nights here, if you can't remember.”  
Trish continues to cramp in more stuff “That’s right so you are gonna live with me until all of this settles down.”  
“Fine”, is all that Jessica says and Trish looks at her in surprise.  
“Fine?”, she questions, expecting some big discussions.  
“Yeah, I like your place way more than mine.” Jessica grins and grabs the bag and gives Trish the lighter one with some stuff of the living room. 

On their way out, they pas Malcolm and Jessica stops.   
“I’ll be gone for a little bit so here”, she gives him the money out of her pocket “please don't use it for some shit dude”, she smiles and he does too.  
“Thank you, Jessica. Come back soon”, he answers.  
“I will, don't worry about me.” Jessica leaves him and joins Trish who waited a couple feet away.  
“That was sweet”, the blonde says and looks at her friend.  
“Oh shut up.”  
They make their way outside of the apartment and while they wait for Trish’s driver, Jessica lets go of her bag and grabs Trish’s hand.  
She loves that feeling.


	8. Childhood Memories

Considering how many times people came into her apartment or stole something, Jessica could stay at her apartment. They both know that Jessica can take care of herself without any doubt but now they have a genuine reason that she can stay at Trish’s place without thinking about going back anytime soon.   
As soon as Jessica drops the bag next to the couch she has that feeling of never wanting to leave again.   
“Trish?”, Jessica asks and looks at her. Trish raises her eyebrows as an answer.   
“You know that you changed my room into a gym right? Where am I supposed to sleep?”  
Trish grins “I don’t know, maybe the couch or the bathtub? It’s probably really comfy” She goes over to Jessica and picks up the bag next to her.   
The look in Jessica’s eyes is a mixture between disappointment and sadness but she tries to hide with a smile.   
The blonde walks over to her bedroom and slides the door open “Jess?”, she gets the brunette attentions and when she looks at her she throws the bag into the room “You are sleeping in there.”  
Jessica’s smile is genuine now and it breaks into a small giggle “You’re weird.”  
Trish laughs and finally takes her coat and shoes off “Did you really believe I would have made you sleep in the bathtub?”  
Jessica shrugs and sits down after taking her jacket off. Trish joins her and pulls her laptop on her lap “Should we make some food later?”, she asks while typing on it.   
“Or maybe we can order something”, Jessica answers and makes herself comfortable.   
The blonde shoots her a look of disagreement “You live here now, so no more junk food every day.”  
“Does alcohol count as junk food?”, Jessica gets up and walks over to the kitchen to fill herself a glass with whiskey.   
Trish rolls her eyes “One last time we can order something.”  
Jessica grins “I’ll call the pizza place.”

They lay under a blanket together, eating greasy pizza and watching the dvd set of Friends.   
Trish remembers all the times they would do this as teenagers,when her mom was on a date with some stinky man. They would eat crappy food that would made her scream because it doesn't fit into Trish’s strict diet.   
The girls would sit on the couch or in one of their bed and just watch random tv shows they could find. It would go on until one of them would fall asleep, most of the time it would be Trish, dozing off on Jessica’s shoulder.   
When they got older they found the whine of Trish’s mom and added that to their weekly dvd night.   
It was the first time when Trish really felt tipsy or even drunk.   
The girls were in Trish’s bed in the middle of the night, it was probably a successful night for Dorothy and her date because Trish can remember that she was out for a very long time.   
Trish can remember hand holding under the blanket and being really close to each other and Jessica saying how beautiful Trish is.  
The blonde has still no idea how it came over her but she remembers reaching for Jessica’s face and pulling her closer and suddenly their lips were touching.  
It was over as soon as it even started. Trish can remember how Jessica pulled away but smiled slightly after that.   
They haven't kissed after that for several months and Trish missed it every single day. 

Jessica’s mind is wandering off while they sit on the couch together, having Trish so closer to her again, relaxes her and she doesn't notice it at first. How Trish reaches for her hand under the blanket and holds it.   
Jessica looks at the blonde and can see a shy smile on her lips. “Just like old times”, Jessica whispers and smiles back widely.   
Trish’s response is a squeeze with her hand before looking back at the tv.   
This time it is Jessica who reaches for the other woman face. Having a hand on Trish’s cheek she turns her head around to face her own.   
“It’s my turn now”, she whispers again and leans forward to kiss the blonde.   
It is soft and slow and takes longer than their first kiss all those years ago.   
Trish closes her eyes and puts her hand on Jessica’s neck to pull her closer to her.   
This kiss is much better than the kisses they shared as teenagers. 

The bed is much more comfortable than Jessica’s own one. This is so much softer and the pillows are more fluffier but the most important thing is that Trish will be in this bed very soon.   
She is in the bathroom doing god knows what to her face to make it more softer or something, when Jessica is already in the bed, cuddling up with the blanket.   
Trish comes out of the bathroom having her hair in a messy bun and a big shirt. Jessica looks at her, smilingly and pulling the blankets away so she can lay down.   
“This is like some weird flashback”, Trish says while laying down in the bed.   
“What kinda flashback?”  
“You remember the weeks before everything happened and we kinda just slept in one bed and absolutely forgot about everything?”  
Jessica nods and smiles in that memory, “That was really nice.”  
Trish scoots closer to the brunette “Maybe we can do this again.”  
Jessica turns the light of and pulls the blanket more over them “That would be really nice.”  
Trish falls asleep immediately but the other woman takes her time until the darkness takes her and she can’t fight the sleep anymore.   
For the first time in months she doesn't dream about Him but instead she can see Trish in her dream, how happy and joyful she is.   
Trish always used to say that Jessica is her hero but instead it is the other way around.   
Trish Walker is Jessica’s hero when she needed her the most.


	9. Maybe One Day

Jessica wakes up to fingers tracing a pattern on the lower part of her back. Right on her bare skin where her shirt moved up a little bit during the night.   
Panic flashes through her body, not knowing how it could be and for a second she things that He is back in her live, but then she remembers where she is and she can relax because she knows these fingers belong to Trish.   
She turns around to face the other woman and smiles when she can see her face, having her eyes peacefully closes and smiling “Morning”, she says, still having her eyes closed.  
“Good morning”, Jessica answers, brushing a piece of her out of Trish’s face and tucking it behind her ear. That makes the blonde open her eyes slowly.   
“Any nightmares?”, she asks, moving slightly to adjust her position. Jessica shakes her head and sits up, resting agains the headboard “Everything was pretty good.”  
“That is nice, Jess”, Trish closes her eyes again and curls up closer to the other woman. The brunette starts to stroke her hair lightly “Sleep some more Trish, I’ll wake you up.”  
Trish puts her head on the lap of Jessica “Just for a little bit”, she mumbles before drifting off to sleep again.   
Jessica does not move the whole time the blonde is asleep on her lap. She sits there, stroking Trish’s head or her back, letting her mind wander off into thoughts.   
She thinks about all those night they used to spend in this bed, before He came into her life or even the week after she returned to Trish. How life was so simple before she even knew about Him and how much Trish wanted her to become a hero. Not just for her own sake but for other peoples too. Even though she always joked how she would hate it, back then, but looking at it know she would very much enjoy it.   
Being able to help people who need it and having Trish at her side, supporting her on any way she would take.   
But now she barely got her best friend back and she still has nightmares of that British stranger that ruined her entire life and mind. Everyone telling her to stop being so rude when it is just her saving everyone from herself because when anyone gets near her, they either end up hurt or worse and she can not risk that.   
She wants Trish so badly to stay by her side and never leave again but the fear inside of Jessica keeps growing every minute they are together. The fear of Trish ending up hurt because she is near Jessica again.   
She can not risk her in any way but at the same time she can not think about a life without the blonde woman in it.It crumbles Jessica inside to decide what is best for both of them because she knows that sooner or later Trish will get hurt. After that she will never be able to forgive herself for doing that to her again.   
Maybe one day Jessica does not have to think about this anymore. Maybe one day both woman can live a happy life without any danger lurking around every corner. Maybe one day Jessica can be happy. Maybe one day they both can be happy together. 

They spend the whole morning in bed just talking or even just sitting next to each other while they do something on their own. The only time Trish actually got up was because she had to use the bathroom and she made both of them a cup of coffee with her way too big coffee machine.  
When she gave Jessica her cup the brunette smiles “I could get used to someone bringing me coffee every morning.”   
Trish smacks her shoulder lightly “Don’t get any ideas lady.” She puts her own cup down and lays back into bed. “And I could get used to just staying in bed every day for the rest of my entire life”, she continues and grins widely.   
“The perks of having a water damage at your office makes you be able to spend the morning in bed with a wonderful brown haired woman”, Jessica says in an overdramatic voice.   
The pillow Trish throws at her, lands exactly in her face “Don’t flatter yourself”, the blonde answers, laughing.   
Trish’s phone interrupts them and she quickly picks it after after seeing that it is her producer of the radio show.   
“Anything new?”, she answers the phone, not even bothering saying hello.   
Jessica starts to zone of during the phone call, partly not wanting to listen to anything that might be conformational but also just of pure boredom.   
“That was my clue to break out of our bubble of staying in bed all day”, Trish says after hanging up and throwing her phone on the bed in frustration.   
“What’s wrong?”  
“I need to go to the studio and figure stuff out with insurance”, Trish rolls her eyes.  
“I can come with you”, Jessica suggests.  
The blonde shakes her head “No it is okay. You can stay here or do anything else.”

Trish ends up leaving in under 30 minutes, after doing all her hair and makeup and Jessica asks herself how in the world she is doing that so fast and considers witchcraft for a split second.   
After all she is dealing with super strength and dealt with mind control. Witch craft with doing make up would not surprise her at all.   
Jessica stays in bed after the blonde left the apartment but it feels too weird being in there on her own. So she gets up and puts some clothes on.   
She looks at herself in the large mirror in the hallway, she still looks tired but not the super awful kind anymore. She can notice herself that the life is purring back into her with every second she spends with Trish.   
The doorman downstairs greets her with a warm hello, when Jessica is about to leave the apartment complex. She answers with a nod and steps outside quickly. It is a beautiful day for a New York winter. The sun is shining, which makes it seem that everyone is in a slightly better mood. It is still very cold outside that Jessica has to zip up her jacket and tuck her hands into her pockets.   
She decides to walk since she does not have a destination she wants to go. Her goal is it to just relax today and take the city she loves so much all in. She stops at a small diner a couple of blocks away from Trish’s apartment and get a pack of donuts. They leave a sugary moustache on her when she bites into them and she quickly licks it off with her tongue.   
Jessica always loved these kinda days, where you can just walk along the streets of this busy city, without having anything to do all day. She probably should get some work done but she is in a too good of a mood to deal with any angry women or men how believe their partner cheats on them.   
Maybe today can be the first good day in a pretty long time for Jessica. 

Jessica is going down an empty street, texting Trish how long she needs at the studio because she wants to go out, when a man crashes into her. She drops her phone and looks up in anger to see who ran into her.   
It is a tall man she remembers from somewhere but she has no idea where. It does not click for her until he speaks:” We have been searching for you everywhere.” Jessica realises then that it is one of the guys from the park the other night and probably the same one that broke into her apartment.  
Jessica changes immediately into fight modus and looks at him challenging. The guys tries to hold onto her should but Jessica is quicker and moves to her right.   
“I don’t think that is such a good idea”, she snarks at him.   
He smiles, like he waited for that kinda comment “But I think this is”, she smiles and throws a punch at Jessica. The fist hits her right on her chin and she jerks away a little bit. It hurts like hell but she immediately punches him back, landing at his nose which starts to bleed right away.   
“Fuck off”, she yells at him moving backwards a little bit.   
The guy tries to grab her again but Jessica manages to duck away. But she can not duck away from the punch he throws again, hitting her cheek.   
Jessica jumps at him, kneeing him hard into the stomach. He crumbles up and breaths heavily. She elbows his back which makes him fall to his knees, knocking the air out of his lungs. Brining her knee up is Jessica’s next step and it lads straight in his face.  
She leave him there after picking her phone up and running into the directions she came from.   
Her face hurst immensely and when she finally reaches Trish’s apartment she can feel the throbbing pain in her head.   
Jessica knocks at the door, hoping that Trish is home and when she opens the door, the shock is written on her face “What the hell happened?”


	10. Life Slipping Away

Jessica’s face hurts immensely. She is sitting on Trish’s couch, which is technically her couch too for the moment but she can not think about that right now. Trish is in the kitchen preparing an ice pack for the brunettes hurting face and mumbling things no one can understand.   
She comes over to the couch with the ice pack and carefully presses it against Jessica’s face.  
“Trish I can’t stay with you anymore”, the brunette says, avoiding eye contact.  
“Don’t talk shit right now”, Trish answers.  
“I’m being serious, I can’t risk you in this situation”, Jessica says shaking her head.   
Trish rolls her eyes “Stop this. We are gonna call the cops and they will sort this out.”  
“No police, Trish. I’m gonna sort this out but I can’t do it when you are in danger.”  
Trish stands up suddenly and walks away from the couch. She is quiet for awhile, trying to collect her thoughts. When she starts to speak, Jessica actually jerks up a little because her voice is so loud:” Jesus Jess, I just don’t understand your fucking deal. I can take care of myself and I don't fucking care who is after you. I’m gonna be by your side.”  
Jessica looks at her in surprise “You really don’t understand”, her answer is barely a mumble and she is standing up calmly.   
“Then please explain this”, Trish is still talking with a very loud voice.   
Jessica shakes her head and puts on her jacket without looking at the blonde.   
“What are you doing?”. Still no answer.  
Trish yells:” Jessica, where the fuck are you going?”  
Jessica does not answer but looks at her, the brunette can she the pain and rage in her eyes.   
Trish can feel the tears swelling up in her eyes but is keeping the eye contact, trying to make Jessica stay with her.   
“I-“, she stops herself and looks away. She turns around and can basically feel Trish starting to cry.   
“Don’t do this, Jess.”  
Jessica starts to walk away and can hear Trish following her slowly. When she reaches the door and has the door handle in her hand, she turns around, looking straight into the eyes of her friend.   
“I can not risk you, Trish, because I love you.”  
Jessica leave before she can get an answer and while she is running down the stairs, she can feel her life slipping away from her again. 

Trish thinks she never actually cried this much in her entire life.   
Of course she has cried a lot of times in her life but never this intense. Not even when her mom called her a little slut and hit her square into the stomach for the first time. Not even when the producer of some old kids show touched her thigh and smiled at her creepily and she showered for 3 hours after it. Not even when Jessica disappeared with Kilgrave. She never cried this much like she is doing right now.   
When the door clicked shut after Jessica left she immediately started to sob. By the time she got back into the living room, collapsing on the couch, she was basically hyperventilating, which has not stopped until now.   
Trish is just crying and hyperventilation, concentration on actually breathing.   
“I love you too”, she whispers in between sobs, again and again.   
Trish can feel her life slipping away from her again. 

The bar is Jessica’s first destination after she left Trish’s apartment. She just chooses some random one, close enough to her own apartment and far enough away from Trish’s.   
“Double whiskey”, she orders without even looking at the bar tender. The man pours her the liquor “Hard day?”, he asks, trying to maintain a conversation but Jessica does not answer but instead just downs the drink. “Another.” And he obeys without trying to say something again.   
Jessica hates every single part in herself right now but somewhere in there thinks, that leaving Trish is a good thing to do. It is the part that wants Trish to be save and the part that thinks she can not be with Jessica in her life. It is the part that is trying to protect her without even being in her life.  
Jessica decides she hates that part in herself too right now.   
Leaving Trish, knowing that she will not be able to handle that, was the hardest thing she ever did.   
The most painful thing she ever did to Trish and herself.   
Jessica decides to drink through the pain because this is what she does and this is how she deals with anything in her life.   
Jessica decides that drinking right now is much better than dealing with the growing pain inside of her.  
Jessica decides that she can not deal with anything in her life right now than to pick up the glass in front of her and pour the alcohol down her throat. 

Maybe if Trish will call Jessica, everything could be better again. Trish is scrolling through her contacts and stops at Jessica’s name. She wants to call her so badly but stops herself and throws her phone to the other side of the couch.   
The blonde finally managed to stop crying and calmed herself down from hyperventilating and now she is just sitting on the couch staring into nothingness.   
Her brain completely shut off after she cried that much and the only thing that would makes her feel a tiny bit better, is a drop of alcohol. So she decides to go out and get a drink in a very long time. A part of her defiantly knows that this is not a good idea she still puts her coat and boots on and she still picks up her bag and she still leaves the apartment.   
Trish knows that this will not end up in a good way but she still sits down in the bar a couple of blocks away from her apartment.   
“Whiskey, please”, she orders. The bartender immediately pours her a one. “Rough day?”, she woman asks and Trish looks at her “You have no idea”, Trish answers and drinks the whiskey.   
“I’ll be here all night”, the bartender answers and fills her glass up again. “Good”, Trish smiles weakly “I need that tonight.”   
Trish can defiantly feel her life slipping away from her the more she drinks. She knows that she should not go down this path again but she can not stop herself from putting the glass to her lips and let the liquor fill up her mouth. 

The barkeeper basically has to throw Jessica out of the bar. Not because she did something bad, she just did not want to leave.   
“Come back tomorrow”, he yells after her.  
“Fuck you”, she yells back, stumbling down the street. It is the time of the night in New York where you can consider some parts of it empty and Jessica absolutely loves it.   
She likes to walk around during the night, mostly because she never is able to fully sleep but also because it is just empty and a little bit quieter. 

Trish is really drunk when she decides to leave the bar. She is drunk to that point where she has to concentrate on walking down the street. Trish does not like the night that much, especially when she is drunk. Too many bad memories about strangers calling after her.   
Trish thinks about how badly she wants Jessica to be here with her, because then she would enjoy it. Jessica was always there when she was drunk and took care of her but that will not happen anytime soon.   
The blond collapses as soon as the door clicks shut behind her. She decides that her hallway is comfortable enough too sleep so she falls asleep with nothing on her mind except Jessica.


	11. This Time

Jessica throws up right in front of her apartment complex. She threw up once when she turned 21 and was on an all night bar tour with Trish. When they finally got home she immediately ran to the toilet and threw up. Trish was there the whole time, holding her hair back and rubbing her back.  
Jessica wishes she would be here right now because it is too cold outside and her whole body hurts.   
“Jessica is that you?”, she turns around right away and stares at Malcolm.  
She gives him a thumbs up. “Let’s get you inside”, he says and comes over to her to help her inside. She is thankful for him right now, even though she will never say it but she had no idea if she would be able to make it inside.   
He has to basically carry her all the way to her bed and drop her into it. Her place is still trashed but she does not care at all. Malcolm takes her boots off and puts a blanket over her. “Thanks”, Jessica slurs, cuddles into the blanket and is asleep in less than 2 seconds. 

The banging on the door makes Trish wake up, it mixes with the raging headache. She looks around, disorientated and tries to remember why she is not in her bed. She can see her security screen from the floor and makes out the faces off her producer and manager. She groans in frustration and tries to get up. The blonde tries to brush her hair with her fingers before she opens the door.   
“Hey guys”, she tries to sound chipper.  
“Jesus, Trish you look awful. Did you forget we had a meeting with the insurance company like 2 hours ago?” Andy, her manager asks her with anger.  
She remembers the meeting now and looks down in shame “I am sorry, something came in between.”  
“Like alcohol?”, he asks, looking at her in disappointment. “Do not let this happen again, Trish.” He warns her and turns around with the producer behind him. Trish slams the door shut and has to fight back the tears.   
The blonde decides that a shower will be the best right now and when she is standing under the water, with her head down. Trish can feel the tears streaming down her face even with the water.   
She hates everything about her right now. 

The smell of coffee is in Jessica’s nose when she wakes up and the immediate fear of someone being in her apartment overcomes her. She opens her eyes but stays still, trying to make out why it smells like coffee in here. Hearing movement from the living room, she turns around and looks at the attorney Hogarth.   
“Your place is the absolute worse”, the attorney says looking at Jessica in disgust.   
“You don’t have to be here”, she answers with annoyance. “Why are you even here?”  
Hogarth comes over and puts a cup of coffee on Jessica’s nightstand “Heard you got beaten up yesterday. Was it because of my job?”  
Jessica nods, after taking the cup and drinking a sip “Nothing I can not handle and since when do you care?”  
Hogarth rolls her eyes “Keep me updated if something more happens!” She leaves the apartment without saying goodbye and Jessica is as confused as never.   
Jessica's head is killing her and she is searching for some painkillers in her kitchen but is unsuccessful. “Fuck this shit”, she mumbles to herself and is already putting on her jacket to go out and buy either some painkillers or some more alcohol.

Seeing all of Jessica’s clothes and bags makes Trish filled up with sadness but also with anger. If Jessica decides that she does not want to be in her life anymore, Trish can decide what happens with these clothes.   
Her first thought was to burn them but she quickly decides that this a little too extreme. Then she thought about just throwing them aways but she sees all the camera equipment and feels to bad about doing that. So the normal thing to do is to bring it back to Jessica’s house. Trish thinks that it will not be too bad, she will do it when she knows that Jessica is not home.   
Trish gets ready, like full on ready and she has no idea why. But she thinks about an outfit that you want your ex to meet in and she dresses up. She feels strong and powerful in her leather pants and high heels. She checks herself in the mirror before heading out, with all of Jessica’s stuff and just keeps repeating that she can totally do this. 

Jessica decides that both, painkillers and alcohol, are a good idea and she already takes some painkillers on her way back to her apartment. Maybe washing them down with the alcohol is not the smartest idea but what does not killer makes her probably stronger. She is trying to put the bottle in the pocket of her jacket because she can already feel the stranger on the street looking at her with disgust and she does not want anyone to see her. Jessica is trying to be invisible today.   
She hates the immediate feeling she gets when entering her apartment. She knows that someone is in there and she gets ready to fight these guys again. But the feeling she gets when she sees Trish walking out of her bedroom is much worse.   
“Shit”, Trish yells in surprise “What the fuck are you doing here?”  
Jessica raises her eyebrows “Well it’s my apartment so what are you doing here?”  
“I, I’m-“ the blonde is stumbling over her words “I bought your stuff make. Thought you would need it.” Trish is definitely trying to be strong and Jessica can tell. “Thanks”, she simply replies and walks over to her desk to but down the bottle and pills. That answers sets Trish off.   
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, she ask her loudly. Putting her hands onto her hips. Jessica simply shrugs and turns around to face the blonde.   
“I just don't understand you! You leave me after you just came back. You left me three times Jessica. Three!”, the blonde continues with more frustration in her voice.   
“I’m the asshole”, Jessica replies with a monotone voice. “I’m always the asshole. In every fucking thing I do. I am the asshole. I am the fucking asshole even though I am trying to save you here.”  
Now she is getting raged up too and Trish feels bad but doesn't back down.  
“You can’t go on trying to protect me when I don't fucking need it anymore.” She walks over to the brunette and continues “I am so grateful for all the times you helped me Jess, I really am but you have been gone for so long and I learned to protect myself.”  
Jessica closes the small distance between them so their face are inches away from each other.   
“Then go on and decide what is best for you Trish”, is all what she says. And Trish does, she grabs Jessica’s face and kisses her. It not a small or gentle kiss. It is not either a drunk and sloppy kiss. This is an angry kiss. A kiss that Jessica was open for but still was very unexpected. But she still kisses back and pushes the blonde against the nearest wall.   
This time Jessica knows what she is doing and will know when she wakes up tomorrow morning. This time Jessica lets her hands wander and lets them pull off the jacket Trish is wearing and pills up the shirt that she is wearing under it.   
This time they both do not stop after this.


	12. Meet Me At The Docks

They are laying in Jessica’s bed together, both on each of their sides, not talking to each other. It is defiantly awkward but Trish is still angry and Jessica has no idea how she feels.   
She would be lying if she did not hope this would happen but she clearly failed her plan with protecting Trish, again. Maybe after this, she thinks and finally turns her head to look at her friend.   
The blonde has pulled the blanket all the way up to her chin, to hide her naked skin under it. She does not know if it is because of shame or something else.   
All that Trish can think about right now is that they both were not drunk. Of course she were able to taste the faint alcohol while she kissed Jessica but she knows the difference.   
Her mind is telling her to get up and leave but her heart wants to stay right here and she decides for her heart.  
Jessica is still looking at her, and Trish can feel it. The brunette is taking all in, the messy hair and how she is still slightly out of breath. How her chest is rising and falling with every breath she takes. She is beautiful, Jessica thinks and has to smile at that thought.   
“I’m sorry”, the blonde mumbles under her breath so that Jessica almost did not catch it even though they are so close to each other.   
Jessica rolls over to her side and rests her head on her hand “Please don’t be.”  
“I don’t know what overcame be”, the blonde answers, staring at the celling.   
“It’s basically my fault.” It is true because she dared her to do this.   
Trish shakes her head “We are not drunk.”  
“That’s true, even though I was shattered last night.” That statement makes Trish turn around and look at her friend “You too?”, she asks.  
Jessica nods “All nighter in a bar and then I threw up outside.” It is defiantly not something she is proud of.   
“I was drinking too, you know. And I basically passed out in my hallway”, the blonde answers with shame in her voice.   
Jessica’s eyes widen “You drank that much again?” She feels bad because she knows it is her fault.  
“Yeah, but it’s not that big of a deal.”  
“Please don’t let that happen again, Trish.”  
“Then please don’t leave me again.”  
Jessica does not answer because she can not promise that. She has to leave, she knows it but the thought that Trish will fall down that black hole again is too big of a risk. She can feel Trish rolling onto her back again and feels bad about that too.   
“I am just too scared to loose you, Trish”, the brunette admits in a whisper. “You are the one person a can not loose in all this. You are to important.”  
“But pushing me away is not loosing me?”, Trish questions.   
“Maybe it is but at least I know you won’t be getting hurt while being with me.”  
Trish sits up, pulling the blanket with her “How often do I have to tell you that I can take care of myself?”  
Jessica looks down, not baring it to look her in the eyes “I know, I know but the risk is too big that something might happen and I don't know if I can forgive myself after that.”  
“What if you let me make the decisions for once in our lives? I want to be with you, Jess, and maybe it might get risky but maybe not and then everything will be good.”  
That makes Jessica look up at her “You want to be with me?” Trish nods in response and then they are quiet again. Jessica thinking about the last time anyone ever said that to her. And Trish thinking about a possible future with the brunette.

“Just think about it, okay?”, Trish says, putting her second shoe on, ready to leave. Jessica is still laying in bed and just nods in response. She will think about it but she has no idea how it will end.   
“I will call you tomorrow, okay?”, another questions Trish asks while closing the buttons of her jacket. Another nod as a response and Trish sights. “Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.” She leaves without an answer and Jessica is alone now. Alone in her bed. Alone and naked in her bed. She feels bad about it. About letting this happen after she swore herself to leave the blonde alone. She feels so bad about everything she is ruining in Trish’s life. Jessica can feel the headache coming back and decides that a little bit of sleep would not be bad. She closes her eyes and is asleep within seconds, dreaming about Trish. 

Trish feels good. She had no idea how much she missed being that close with Jessica. Of course the circumstances could have been better but she does not regret kissing her. She does not regret anything.   
Trish decides to walk home instead of calling her driver. It is a long walk but she has to clear her mind a little bit after this. It is slowly getting dark outside and with that colder. Trish is stopping at a crosswalk when someone taps her shoulder.   
“Excuse me, are you Trish Walker?” a dark voice asks behind her. She turns around with a smile on her lips “I am inde-“, she stops, recognising the mans face. “Sorry I have to go”, she continues with a fake smile and turns around to cross the street.   
“I can’t let that happen miss.” The man response and grabs her from behind, lifting her from the ground.  Trish’s immediate response is to bring her elbow down to his ribs but the only response she is getting is a grunt. She is preparing for her next try when she can feel a sting in her neck and the last thing she can see, before passing out is a second man with a taser. 

The ringing of her phone wakes Jessica up. She groans in frustration, noticing that it got dark around her. She picks up with an annoyed “What?”  
“Mis Jessica Jones?”, a strangers voice asks.   
“Yes? What do you want?”  
“We have something you are probably interested in.”  
“And what the hell would that bed?”  
The line is quiet for a little bit and Jessica can her faint voices and then suddenly her heart stops when she recognises the different voice at the line “Jess, they got me”, is all that Trish can bring out before it is back to the man “Meet me by the docks in one hour or you will never see her again.”  
The line is dead and all that Jessica can think about is that she is dead too.


	13. Fucking Mistakes

The heart inside her chest is beating so fast, Jessica thinks it might jump out. Her brain instead is quiet as never, she has no idea what to do now. No idea is coming to her mind. She does not know how to get Trish out of there.   
The only thing she can think of is to talk to Hogarth, after all this is her fault. And even though Jessica does not like it, she probably knows what to do now.  
Everything Jessica is doing now, seems like it is taking forever. Even the 10 minutes taxi drive to the attorneys office, feels like it is taking half a day. It feels like she is wasting time, time she could use to go to the docks and save Trish. Standing right in front of the office she decides that this is what she should do. Who cares about Hogarth and her stupid client, she needs to save Trish before anything worse will happen to her. Before she will loose her forever. 

It takes her 40 minutes to finally get there and she is so afraid that it might be too late. Jessica can see a couple of guys standing in between containers, clearly waiting for her. She can walk right pass them and at the end, right by the water, she can see Trish sitting on a chair, her eyes are blindfolded and her hands tied behind her to the chair. A woman is standing next to her, she is dressed in all black with a furry coat around her.   
“Almost too late”, she says, pulling out a cigaret of her pocket and lighting it.   
“Who the fuck are you?”, Jessica answer angrily, looking around her to make out all the people. She counts 7.  
“Names do not matter here, Jessica. I like to think that you are here to save her”, the strangers hand touches Trish’s shoulder, which is jerking away immediately.   
“Jess?”, Trish asks with a quiet voice. She sounds so far away and scared.   
Jessica walks over to her but is stop by a man “I’m here”, she answers, trying to look at her but the man is in front of her.   
“All I want, Jessica, is and answer to some questions and the photos you took of my man at the park”, the woman is speaking again which makes the man step aside.   
“What the hell do you want?”, Jessica says through gritted teeth.   
“Do you work for the Russians?”  
“What the fuck? No!”, Jessica answers in total confusing. The stranger woman nods and flicks away her cigaret. She comes walking over to Jessica and the man replaces her place next to Trish. She is standing right in front of Jessica, when she is speaking again “Who do you work for, Jessica Jones?”  
“Tell me your fucking name and I’ll tell you.”  
“Such a potty mouth you have but fine. I am Amanda Carefield”, her eyes wandering over Jessica.   
“Okay, Amanda”, Jessica rolls her eyes “I work for no one, okay? I am a fucking PI, I work for whoever the fuck gives me a job.”  
Amanda sighs “Then tell me, who gave you the job to take pictures in the park?”  
Jessica does not answers her but instead asks a question to Trish “Are you okay, Trish? Did they hurt you?”  
“I don’t know where I-“, she gets cut out from a punch to her face from the man next to her. Jessica looks at him in shock and then in anger at the woman “Leave her the fuck alone!”, she yells, taking a step toward her.  
“She pays for your mistakes”, the woman says, totally calm.   
“I give you my fucking mistakes.” Her fist is connecting with Amanda’s cheek, who is stumbling backward by the punch. 

The pain in her face is blocking everything else out around her. It hurts so much, so much more when her trainer is hitting her. Which she now realise that he is not doing it full force, even though she always tells him to.   
She can hear yelling and people running and suddenly she feels a strong grip on her shoulders and her hands are loose from the chair but still behind her back. Trish is being dragged somewhere, she almost can not keep up and her feet are stumbling. She is pushed and she falls down, a door shutting and clicking shut behind her.   
The yelling is distant now but she somehow managed to get the blindfold of. Mainly but rubbing her face agains her shoulders until it slipped of.   
The room is almost completely dark, just the light from the outside, which is shinning through the windows is coming through. Trish is trying to think how she can get these damn zip ties of her hand but her mind is racing and she can not concentrate enough. She feels pathetic and useless until a sudden adrenaline flash is coming over her.   
She manages to get her hands to the front of her body, by squeezing her hip and legs through them. She can feel the adrenaline pumping through her body when she is moving the connection from the zip ties between the gap from her hands. She can feel it an every cell when she is bringing her hands down to her hips, hard and forceful and can feel the zip ties snapping off. Now Trish is feeling powerful and strong. She can hear someone running toward the room again and she hides behind the door. All that Trish can think about is Jessica right now. She needs to find her and help her.   
The door is being swung out and someone is running into the room. Trish grabs their arm, twists it behind their back and shoves them agains a wall. “Where the fuck is Jessica?”, she yells and it is not until then when she realises that this person is not a man but is small and has long hair. It is a woman and she smells familiar.   
“Trish, it’s me”, Jessica answers quietly after grunting in pain. Trish lets go of her immediately and sees how beat up she is. She hugs her so hard that Jessica yells in pain “Jesus Trish.”  
“I am so sorry”, she answers and letting go of her again.  
“We need to get out of here”, Jessica tells her and grabs her hand.   
They are running and Trish can see men on the ground, crying in pain and she can feel Jessica breathing hard and holding her side.   
Jessica saved Trish but could not save herself this time.


	14. Hello Darkness

Jessica can feel the energy leaving her body with every step they are running down the street. She can feel the weakness over coming her the longer they are running.   
“Trish, let’s slow down a little bit”, she says, clearly out of breath. The blonde still has a tight grip around her hand and is pulling her along. She slows down a bit, crossing a street and finally stopping to look at Jessica. Trish is shocked by the look at her face, it is bloody and starting to bruise already. “What happened down there?”, she asks and lightly stroking her fingers across the brunettes face.

After Jessica punches Amanda, everything is quiet for a little bit, no one expected this to happen but as soon as everyone realises what happened, there is yelling and chaos.   
Amanda is running away but two other guys are coming over to replace her. Jessica is trying to run to Trish but the man next to her has alright a tight grip around her and pushing her away. Jessica can almost reach them when a person comes running over to her and is tackling from the side. She goes flying and lands hard on the asphalt, scraping her skin over it. The blood already trickling down her arm and leg.   
Jessica runs over to the man who pushed her away and grabs his collar, throwing him agains one of the containers which knocks him out immediately.   
She is looking for Trish because all she can think about is to get her out here, she need to find her but can not see her anyway.   
Another man is grabbing her from behind and is holding her arms when yet another guy comes running over and is starting to punch Jessica everywhere. He starts with a couple of hits into her stomach and then continues on to her face. She is able to get her feet onto the chest of the guy who is beating her and is kicking so hard he goes flying backwards. The push causes her to fall onto the man who was holding her, which leaves him breathless. Jessica manages to get up, under a lot of pain and weak knees. She brings her foot down to the man face, hard and ruthless, he is out without any hesitation.   
She can only guess the way, they took Trish and starts running in that directions but she did not think about the man on the ground she kicked away. Jessica runs passed him and he grabs her ankle, causing her to stumble and land hard on the ground with her face. She can feel the blood streaming down her face and for a second she considers just giving up but she will never to that to Trish. She manages to pull herself together, kicks the man straight into the face and gets up.   
Jessica can she the last glimpse of blonde hair before it is being shoved into a small shed and a man locking it up.   
A clapping sound echoes through the night and Jessica turns around to look into Amanda’s eyes. Her cheek is slightly bruised and there is a bigger distance between them, probably for Amanda’s own protection.   
“I am surely impressed by your skills, Jessica. Who is it, you are able to throw man twice the size of you, around like they are little toddlers?” she asks with an amused voice.   
Jessica looks around, trying to find an escape route and one to get Trish. One man is standing by the shed and the remaining seven close by Amanda. Her only choice is to take Amanda out and that is when she is slowly walking toward her. “You really wanna know that?”, Jessica asks and grins, showing her bloody teeth. After Amanda raises a hand, one of the three guys starts walking toward the brunette and she responses with running the last few feet.   
She thinks about getting some training from Trish after all this is done because she clearly has no idea what to do and the only think she can think about is some move from a wrestling show.   
She jump kicks the man into the chest, which causes her to fall hard on the ground and hurting her arm badly. The man has it worse, he starts flying backwards and Jessica is certain she hears some rips crack by the impact.   
Getting up after this is much harder than she expected because every part in her body hurts so much she could throw up from the pain. But she manages to stand up and is looking at Amanda holding a gun at her “How?”, is all she can bring out and Jessica smirks, starting to walk toward her. “Stop”, one man yells but she does not listen to her.   
The gun shot sound rips through the air and for a second Jessica does not think it was Amanda’s gun but the she can feel the bullet ripping into her skin. She can feel how it digs itself into Jessica’s side. She pulls her hand to her side and can feel the warm blood coming out from it, looking down she can see it covering her hand. Jessica looks up again but all she can see is their backs, running away from her and leaving her here to die. But Jessica can not die here, she needs to get to Trish and turns around to look at the shed. The man is still in front of her and looking at her in shock. Jessica starts running towards him, with her hand pressed tightly on her hands to stop the bleeding. When she is in front of him, he gets ready to fight her but it takes Jessica one good punch to the head and he is out.   
She has to push in the door with her shoulder and when she is stumbling into the room she is already shoved agains the nearest wall by Trish. Jessica can not help but smile when Trish yells: “Where the fuck is Jessica?” She answers quietly because the pain in her side is too much “Its me, Trish.”

They are running down the docks with not sight of Amanda and her remaining men. They are running down the streets of New York when Jessica can feel how weak she is getting. Her shirt is soaked in her blood but all she does is pull her jacket closes so Trish can not see anything of it.   
They stop and Trish wants an explanation of what happened there but Jessica can already feel the darkness pulling at her. “Trish listen”, she manages to say “Get out of here, okay? Go home and lock yourself up. Don’t open anyone the door except the police.”  
“Jess, what the hell are you talking about”, Trish asks her in concern but Jessica can not fight the darkness anymore. Her knees get weak and she falls down, she brings her hand up and shows Trish her side “I’m sorry, Trish”, she manages to say before the darkness over comes her and she passes out. Jessica can not longer fight this. She was able save Trish but not herself.


	15. Ringing Sirens

The siren from the ambulance is ringing in Trish’s ears while all she can do is hold Jessica’s hand as tight as possible. The paramedic in the back with them is sticking Jessica with needles and is doing everything in his power to not let her die.   
“Please don’t do this to me, Jess”, Trish whispers, pulling the brunettes hand to her mouth and kisses at several times. It feels like it is taking them ages to get to the hospital but suddenly they stopped and the back door is ripped open “What do we got”, a doctor is already yelling and the paramedic answers:” Female, mid 20s, single gunshot wound to the abdomen and several broken bones in chest and face.” Trish is forced to let go of her hand, when they are starting to pull her out of the ambulance. “Please stay with me”, she whispers again before Jessica is rolled into the emergency room. 

They are making her stay in the waiting room, where she is walking up and down, wondering what is happening to Jessica right now. She feels like a lion caged up and she absolutely hates it.   
“Ms. Walker?”, a nurse comes in and looks at her. Trish thinks she can finally go see Jessica but instead the nurse continues “Would you want someone looking at the bruise on your face?”   
Trish looks away with disappointment and shakes her head “I’m fine.”  
That nurse was the last one to come in there and talk to her for over four hours and Trish can slowly feel herself go insane. Every part of her body hurts. Her wrists from being zip tied together, her legs from running, her face from the punch and over all everything from exhausting. How nice a bed would be right now but instead she decides on her third cup of shitty hospital coffee. Trish knows she has to be here even though she also knows that Jessica would tell her to leave and go home. She can not leave her here, especially when she has no idea what is going on with her.   
Trish needs her to be okay, Trish needs her to be alive.   
“Ms. Walker?”, someone asks again, a man this time. Trish looks up and sees a doctor coming toward her “Hey, my name is Justin Mahoney, I’m the surgeon of Jessica Jones”, he says with a warm voice and shakes Trish’s hand. “Would you like to come with me and we can talk about the surgery?” Trish shakes, throwing her coffee away and following him into a separate room without no one in there but them.   
He pulls the chair away for her so Trish can sit down and she responses with a weak smile.   
“So”, he says after sitting down across from the table and putting some papers on the table “I know this will all sound like nonsense to you but I will try to explain any question you might have.”  
“Is she alive?”, Trish asks immediately and Justin smiles slightly “Yes she is alive and stable for the moment.”  
“Just tell me what happened”, Trish tells him and he does “Jessica had a single gun shot wound to her abdomen with no entry wound. She lost a lot of blood but was really lucky because the bullet did not hit any major organs or arteries. But we had a few complications, distracting the bullet from her body.”  
“What kind of complications?”, Trish asks worried.   
He pushes some papers into her direction but she has no idea what they mean and then he says: “We hoped the bullet would stay in one spot but it seemed like it traveled around her body, probably from running or something like that.” Trish nods but lets him continue “The bullet moved all the way to her spinal cord and we had to be extra careful not to hit it. But we made it and we believe that Ms. Jones will be in full recovery with in a few days. The only thing that will hurt a little longer are her broken rips and her nose but apart from that she will be fine.” Justin smiles at her and presses Trish’s hand lightly “Thank you so much”, she says, feeling the tears in her eyes.   
“Would you like to see her?”, he asks and she immediately jumps up to follow him into Jessica’s room. 

Her eyes hurt when Jessica opens them. She is panicking because she has no idea where she is. She tries to remember what happened and can only think about Trish. Jessica jerks up and regrets it right away, her side hurts immensely and she is hooked up to something. She looks around and recognises the hospital room she is in, when was the last time she was in one? Probably after the car crash when she was little.   
“Jess?”, a sleepy voice calls out and Jessica turns her head to look at Trish, half laying, half sitting in the chair next to her bed. The look of the blonde calms her down and she says, with a scratchy voice that hurts her throat “Hey you.”  
Trish is fully awake by the sound of her voice and sits up straight “You are awake”, she states and jumps up to hug the brunette. The impact of the hugs hurts Jessica’s rips which knocks the air out of her lungs and she has to cough “Hold up tiger”, she jokes and Trish lets go of her right away.   
“I am so sorry”, she says, just holding onto Jessica’s hand. Jessica reaches for Trish hands and pulls her closer to press her lips against Trish’s. “I thought I lost you”, the blonde whispers and kisses her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!


End file.
